Baby Observations

I should probably at some point write up a birth story here. I've never been much for birth stories, though -- do you really need to know when my water broke or how many shots of epidural juice I had before the eventual baby-ectomy?

Besides, if you're on Twitter or Facebook with me you know it anyway -- God bless the iPad. What can I say, I was bored!

Andrew's been in the world a little over a week now and on balance it's been pretty good. There have been some bumps in the road -- who knew he would have his first "I'm-going-to-scream-my-head-off-for-hours-and-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it-so-ha!" moment when I snuck off for an hour or two to have my nails done? Poor Daddy Stoat, since I am the one with the mammaries and, therefore, dinner. But on the whole, while life with a baby has obviously taken some adjusting, we're doing okay.

I really just wanted to jot down a few observations from my first week of parenthood, because they're fairly new and I want to get them while they're fresh.

#1 -- I will someday write a book titled "Breastfeeding -- It's Not That *%#$! Simple". Those who know what I'm talking about will understand it when I say that Andrew has yet to latch on well, which could be a result of many things, including the Completely Unprepared Childbirth I had. My birth plan, with the nice "allow me to breast feed immediately" and "skin to skin immediately after the birth" checked off? Still saved to my desktop as Dr. I-Don't-Want-To-Discuss-This-Yet, well, didn't want to discuss it yet. Funny, I imagine had she done an internal I might have known Korma McPuddingbutt was on his way. Anyway, from all of the "nipple zealot" websites (as Daddy Stoat calls them) it seems we may have inadvertently affected Andrew's ability to latch with skipping out on those things and subsequently allowing bottle feeds in the hospital because he was losing weight with my milk supply being a bit slow to show up. So yeah -- breastfeeding? Not as simple as it sounds.

#2 -- I still refuse to worry about poo. I do, however, worry about wee. A lot.

#3 -- I have a new respect for cows.

#4 -- There is nothing more awesome than watching Daddy Stoat be a daddy. Nothing.

#5 -- Babies sleep a lot, but I spend my "down time" obsessively Googling all of the things I am likely doing wrong.

#6 -- Epidurals are good.

#7 -- C sections don't hurt. The recovery is another story. Laughter was banned for about a week.

#8 -- It was probably very smart to never, ever watch a birth video, C-section video or see an epidural being given. That unpreparedness meant I went in with no expectations, just flexible plans, and I was not freaked out about anything that happened, which for me is pretty unusual. Either that or oxytocin makes you *reaaaallllllly* mellow.

#9 -- Losing 20 pounds in a week? Freaking awesome.

#10 -- The postpartum body is a bit scary, but I actually kind of like some of the redecorating pregnancy has done. I could be okay with this.

#11 -- Lochia. Euwww!

#12 -- For every website or book with an opinion, there is an equal and opposite opinion in the next book or website. Read at your own risk. When you have time to read. Which is never, anyway. Why read when you have a baby to cuddle?

#13 -- The shower is my friend. Though I think that's as much to do with my thyroid being funny again as it is anything else. Showers make me feel normal.

#14 -- Daddy Stoat is an awesome daddy. Fastest nappy change in the West!

#15 -- I miss my feet, which have been replaced by stuffed sausages. I also miss wearing real shoes.

I'm sure there will be more of these observations in the future, but for now, that is what my brain can handle. :)