Baby Murder!

Dear Baby Stoat,

The following is a list of things that are not baby murder:

-Putting you down to get a bottle
-Putting you down to prepare dinner for those of us with teeth
-Putting you down in your cot/swing/bouncer/any other bit of baby gear designed by clever baby scientists to cradle, nurture, stimulate and support you
-Putting you down to change your nappy
-Changing your nappy
-Changing your clothes
-Listening to music that is not Devin Townsend or the looped classical music on your baby swing
-Baths without Grandma to help

Please work on a more appropriate reaction, since the neighbours have now put child services on their speed dial. Thanks!