Seventeen.

"Seventeen! 'Cos I'm sweeter than 16."

I tried to watch Repo this weekend, but did not make it through more than the first ten minutes. I miscarried while watching Repo. Fortunately, it's just a film with a handful of catchy songs and Paris Hilton's face falls off; not being able to watch it doesn't deprive me of anything great.

So here I am, cycle day 17. It's hard to tell if the soy has worked or not. I *seem* fertile right now, and certainly have taken advantage of that fact, but it's hard to tell. I'm not temping or doing an ovulation predictor kit this month; it doesn't matter hugely if I do or don't ovulate since I'm having surgery tomorrow. I figure if there is a wee blatocyst that manages to stick through *that*, it'll be viable, and if there isn't one or it doesn't stick I'm no worse off.

So yes, surgery tomorrow. Somehow I feel that the words "laser" and "my ovaries" should never meet in a sentence and if they never have to again I'll be a happy camper. I met for my pre-op on Thursday, where the doctor outlined everything that will happen tomorrow.

Doc, I do not want to know.

I think I would have been happier without the graphic description of what will go on. Inflated with CO2 gas, lasers, scalpels, incisions, etc...some things are just not meant to be shared! Please don't tell me how you're going to do these things. I don't want to know. This is why I did not go to medical school.

So, needless to say, I wait in terror for tomorrow. I have a queue of articles to finish and a possible phone interview, for which I am not in the right state of mind, but it can't be helped. I don't want them to find anything, and I want them to find something so it can be fixed. The doctor is looking for endometriosis, uterine lining growing outside of the uterus and scarring up important bits like my fallopian tubes so they stop..er...fallop-ing. They're not blocked, the extremely painful HSG already saw that, but they may not be vibrating enough to suck the egg right in. Endometriosis typically has painful side effects, but the long-term treatment is birth control -- and I've been on that most of my life. When I wasn't, I never had a period, so I'd never know if I had it or not.

If ever there was proof against "intelligent design", the female reproductive system is it. The egg has to make a jump of huge proportion and hope it gets caught in the suction of the fallopian tubes. Why on earth is that gap there? What purpose does it actually serve? Wasn't there any better way to get an oocyte to my uterus? Seriously.

Just get me through tomorrow alive, and let there be something to fix.